I love roller coasters! I love them to slowly climb high and drop fast, upside down and with all kinds of unexpected twists and turns. I’m on one right now, but it’s no fun adrenaline rush. It has all I could ask for in a roller coaster. There is a big difference, this is real fear, real danger and as of now, it only ends one way. Death. Nobody wants to ride the ALS roller coaster.
There are times when it just tops the high hill after a long slow ride up and the exhilarating feeling of soaring down the hill. There are times it slows and the ride is smooth, long enough to take a breath before you suddenly speed up and twist around. The best parts are when you start down that big hill and when it slows long enough to breathe and enjoy the breeze.
I equate going down the big hill with getting something you need, something that is really going to help you through your days, maybe keep you independent longer or when everything comes together long enough to laugh with loved ones and ALS isn’t forefront in your mind. It’s nice, fun.
I equate the smooth slower speed part with being at a time that you have what you need and it’s all working smoothly. Even though you know it will change, it’s nice when you have a period of predicting the day. Everything is in order and running smooth. You can just live life.
Then comes the unexpected twists. Even though you knew it would happen at some point, It still catches you by surprise when it abruptly turns you and your whole world upside down. Everything must change yet again to accommodate your new needs.
The slow climb up a hill. That’s where I am now. I’m in a state of waiting and ever so slightly moving up, moving forward. It’s not the only thing I’m on a slow climb up for, but the stem cell study is the primary part of this slow climbing hill. Will the ride be stopped in the blistering hot sun over something out of my control? What will happen when I make it to the top and surgery is performed? After healing, will the ride stay smooth a while or will everything be turned upside down in every way that is worse than the wait? Nobody can 100% answer that even though I feel very positive about the outcome. Even in the odd chance there is a bad outcome, there will be no regrets whatsoever.
I’m working on patience and I know time will pass and I will reach the point of where answers are. Patience is the key. Sometimes harder than others. The past two days have been rough for various reasons. I know much better days are ahead. I’m careful looking too far ahead because I’m not at an amusement park. This is the ALS roller coaster.
I appreciate you reading my, written as I thought them, ALS analogies.
Until next time, take care,